My brain has been doing some strange things to me lately. I’ve had a few extremely vivid dreams - not just visually, but emotionally. Events replayed, things I’d like to think I’ve moved past. Suddenly it’s like I’m there again, before the bad stuff happened, and for a moment I appreaciate it. Then I realise it’s not real and the moment is passing, and I go through the pain of loss again. In my sleep it feels like I’m screaming.
When it happened - the things, not the dream - I wasn’t the same. Some good changes from adapting and learning, but some odd things, too. I would flinch violently when people touched me, even lightly, even when I saw it coming. I would have vivid, horrifying nightmares. I would be emotionally deadpan for days at a time. I read they’re symptoms of PTSD. I still flinch.